Musings on...Christmas for the Culture
A Mindful Gift Guide for Your Melanated Friends and Family
I love the seasonal gift guides flooding my inbox. I’ve bookmarked the ones from a few of my favorite Substackers
, , and . I absorbed them all, following every link and tagging every cashmere sweater, beautiful tin of fish and artisanal olive oil like a digital version of the old school JCPenney holiday catalog. (Google it, children). My traditional contribution to the milieu has usually been a gift guide for book lovers, but this year I’m adding a different fa-la-la-la flavor into the Christmas retail stew.Like most minorities, I've lived most of my life straddling cultures. I am fluent in the language of my home and neighborhood as well as the language of the wider world. That dual existence develops an enviable skill, I even consider it a superpower. I am by all accounts, culturally bilingual. I grew up speaking MTV and R & B. My momma’s coffee table offered Ebony, Essence and Vogue. I recently argued the difference between dressing and stuffing with passionate voracity. I love caviar and cornbread equally.
Life, if we’re not mindful, can become like an algorithm, limiting our view to what it thinks we want to see, versus expanding our vision. I’m just augmenting your feed with items I’m buying for myself, my family and friends. But mostly myself. It is not really about race, it’s about culture. Anyone can produce a similar list highlighting the vibe of their holiday heritage. This year I am offering entree into mine.
Smell Goods
Tastemaker Lauren Santo Domingo shocked the world (or perhaps just me) by declaring candles a thoughtless and lazy hostess gift. If anyone has access, please get my address to Lauren and I will relieve her of the wretchitude. J’adore Lauren, but I always appreciate a fancy and fragrant lumiere that transports me to another world. I am very open to a dose of French elegance via Diptyque, or a soupcon of English heritage from Jo Malone, but this American girl is also Taking the A Train to Harlem for a taste of the excellence and creative energy of the Harlem Renaissance. This halcyon era witnessed Ella and Billie singing, Cab was Callowaying, Langston and Neale Hurston were writing, and Madame CJ Walker built a beauty empire that made her Rockefeller’s neighbor. To quote the great Liz Lemon: “I want to go to there”.
The candles, diffusers and perfumes from The Harlem Candle Company are sensual and luxe. Cast in the richest jewel tones, they pay homage to the icons nestled in the pantheon of American arts and humanities. Harlem Candle Company products are available at luxury retailers Nordstrom and Neiman, but take a tour of the brand website first. It is beautifully executed, allowing you to explore the full story of the company, inviting you into Langston’s Library or Josephine’s Boudoir. This is the perfect flex for your bougie bestie.
Gallery Girl
I chose these adorable nutcrackers for this post’s gallery photo. This adorableness is the work of Sheisthisdesigns. I’ve been following her on Instagram for a while, and among her exuberantly colored illustrations, I was completely charmed by the nutcrackers. It makes me reminiscent of my first experience seeing The Rockettes Christmas Spectacular in NYC. I am buying both Nutcracker prints for my collection and seriously considering them as the color story for next year’s tree. It is a selfish wish, but I hope this print is developed into Christmas cards next year (hint, hint, please, please). Trust me when I tell you that your favorite gallery girl will appreciate anything from Shae’s portfolio.
Millionaire Mogul Rising
She’s a hustler, baby and I have the perfect gift for your friend committed to #feelingblessed and #manifestingabundance. Social media is trying to sell the soft life, but we are only going to be so demure for so long. Striving for better is in our DNA. There is literally a song, a book and a movie titled Can’t Stop, Won’t Stop by three unrelated people. Hustling hard is an anthem. Life Coach and Business Mentor Stacia Pierce offers a website full of tools, courses and books that ensure attaining an elevated lifestyle. The website is merchandised like a chic boutique, a visual kaleidoscope of candy colors, but this place is full of BME: Big Manifestation Energy. There is a mesmerizing amount to choose from but put the bedrock product The Success Journal in your shopping cart first. The Ultimate Manifestation Box is a strong recommend. Offered only at Christmas while supplies last, it is a curated box of goodies like guided journals, goal cards, visualization tools, as well as informational and inspirational digital courses. This is what you give someone ready to begin the new year running toward big goals.
Lip Service
I am actively collecting all colors of the Vegan Matte Liquid lipsticks from The Lip Bar. I can attest they last through an entire shift of nonstop talking without a smudge. The shades are richly pigmented and inclusive to all skin tones. Of course, the names are part of the fun. Words and titles are very important, whether we spell them in standard English or phonetically. Bawse Lady, Drama Queen and Trophy Wife are vernacular stand outs.
The story behind the brand is inspirational as well. Shark Tank infamously dismissed the founders, but they hit it big anyway. You can find the line at major retailers Target, CVS, Walgreens and Amazon. The company recently had a viral moment when Michigan Governor Gretchen Whitmer was asked about her signature fuchsia lipstick and she name-checked the Black women-owned, Detroit company. The shade, originally called Playmate, became known as Big Gretch after her speech at the DNC Convention. Put any political issues aside and buy your girlie some pretty.
If you give her Rich Auntie, you win Christmas. Aunties are the backbone of our community, and EVERYONE aspires to be the rich one.
Fill In the Blanks
I was watching a game show, and all three contestants were African American. When the topic was music of the eighties, I braced myself. I was educated at PWIs, so the answers Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen came easily to me. I wondered if anyone had a similar background, and my hypothesis was quickly proven. No buzzers were pressed, no answers shouted out, just awkward silence (very awkward). That was a stark reminder that our existences are often unintentionally insular. It's not an indictment, it's just a fact that many lives run parallel to each other and never intersect.
The puzzles by Will Shortz are a weekend ritual for me. Firmly locked into my Sunday AM routine, I caught a part of an interview (listen to it here) by NPR's Ayesha Rascoe with Juliana Pache, who jumped into the white space that I witnessed in that game show moment. Recognizing that the game and puzzle industry is often skewed to the majority, her popular website www.blackcrossword.com became a cultural juggernaut, giving a rainbow coalition of game and word nerds a seat at the gameboard table. The website has given birth to a book. I thought “what a great idea” and added it to my Books to Buy List.
I recommend buying Juliana Pache’s and Will Shortz’ and books as a set and adding a set of colorful pens to the gift bag for the intense and competitive intellectual in your friend group.
Always Bet on Black
I love this game: I find it very witty (which is my highest compliment). The inside joke is that your “Black Card” can be revoked if you don't know or don't take part in some generally acknowledged stereotype. I lost mine because I can’t play spades, my son’s inability to play basketball took his and my husband's intolerance for hot sauce took his card a long time ago. Therein lies the genius. There’s no way you can honestly keep your card because everyone has different life experiences and preferences. The idea that your card is revokable insinuates we are all the same and how many times have we heard that no group is a monolith. We can laugh at the cultural touchstones we share AND the ones we don’t. IYKYK, but it’s okay if you don’t, we will roast you in love either way. My husband had to explain to our kids that they were jeopardizing our parental card by wearing Adidas track pants with Nike shoes. They didn’t realize it was a serious offense that could get our credit line reduced. Get a foothold on the concept and hilarity on the Instagram page, then add the cards into game night rotation.
The (At) Home Girl
If she has a subscription to Architectural Digest, put this on her coffee table next to the latest AD issue. BID Creative Director Ashley June Reese built a shared platform in this gorgeous book highlighting 50 of the top names in design. From bohemian Target darling Justina Blakeney to celebrity favorite Nikki Chu, it is 256 pages dedicated to eclectically diverse interiors. Come for the inspirational eye candy but stay for the aspirational career stories of how the designers often forged untraditional paths to create a place for themselves in the big world of design.
The Glamour Girl
I originally bought Supreme Models during a trip to HomeGoods (don’t sleep on HomeGoods, book lovers). Then, I added Supreme Actresses and Supreme Sirens. I enjoy thumbing through this beautiful compilation of women of color that broke barriers (Lena Horne, Beverly Johnson, Hattie McDaniel) the ones who rose to unprecedented heights (Halle Berry, Tyra Banks, Viola Davis) and the ones leading the next generation (Zendaya, Marsai Martin). This coffee table trio deserves pride of place for your pop culture princess. If she loves the Housewives franchise and The E! Network, add this to her bookshelf.
Happy Shopping!
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